Loving Until It Hurts: A Tribute To Simon Dedvukaj
-- by Franz-Llesh Grishaj, Saturday, 21 September 2002
Throughout our nation as well as around the globe, people commemorated in various ways the first anniversary of the cowardly terrorist attack of September 11. During this time, one could not help but relive all the pain, sadness, emptiness, loss, uncertainty and anger that overwhelmed us. And notwithstanding the horrifying images of the Pentagon, Pennsylvania and especially those of the World Trade Center which persistently haunt us, we are also reminded of the countless stories of heroism and bravery that rose from the ashes of "The day that changed America."
One such story belongs to Simon Dedvukaj. On that tragic Tuesday morning, which will also live in infamy, 26 year old Simon started his day as any other workday supervising his janitorial crew. According to his brother Niki, however, the exception was that "he was supposed to be off that day" and take his wife to school. However, Simon's dedication to his job convinced him to alter his plans, rather then accompany Elizabeta he reported to work so he could supervise some new workers as they prepared to clean the offices of Marsh and McLennin. Unexpectedly, at 8:46am hijacked American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North Tower and within 17 minutes another hijacked Boeing 767, United Airlines Flight 175, smashed into the South Tower. As the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center were engulfed with flames and debris falling everywhere, innumerable acts of heroism and immediately began.
Eye witness account, verify that Simon was also one of those courageous souls. He was seen assisting people out of the building and into safety. Simon, however, was not satisfied with his efforts. He was compelled to do more. And more is exactly what he did. Simon, via his walkie-talkie, is reported to have said he was going back up the tower to help. In the aftermath of the collapsed skyscrapers, the families of nearly three thousand unaccounted for diligently persevered in their thoughts, prayers and actions as they hoped to find their loved ones alive. Unfortunately for the Miraj family, they would be one of those families. As their hopes dimmed, the harsh crushing reality fell upon them that not only was Simon gone, but no tangible evidence of his presence remained.
On behalf of the Miraj family, The Very Reverend Father Pjeter Popaj of Our Lady of Shkodra held a memorial service in remembrance of their beloved Simon - son, husband, brother, nephew and cousin on Saturday, 27 October 2001. Following the services, several thousand well wishers came to pay their respect and express their condolence in the hall adjacent to the church. On that catastrophic day of September 11, two other Albanian-Americans also perished - Rrok Nosh Camaj and Mon Alija Gjonbalaj who both worked in the South Tower.
In retrospect, it is quite logical to ask what may have motivated such a promising young man to risk his life in an attempt to save others? The answer to this question is fairly simple for those who knew and loved Simon. Although Simon was the first son of Marash Kole Miri and Vitore Franja to be born in the United States, he successfully managed to incorporate the best of both worlds, old and new. As an Albanian, he personified the customs and traditions of the Catholic highlanders of Northern Albania as illustrated by honor, valor, truthfulness and hospitality through besa shqiptare. Furthermore, as an Albanian Catholic, the words of Our Savior Christ Jesus, "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends (John 15:13)." are profoundly intertwined with besa shiqptare. Hence, it is a moral obligation to help people in need. As an American, Simon valued the principles of common welfare and civic virtue that is vital for a democratic republic. Therefore, sacrificing personal interests for the collective good of the whole is the rule rather than the exception.
In describing their brother's ethnic awareness and appreciation, Niki recalls how at the age of 15 he would be able to recite the agnatic kinship structure of the Miraj genealogy. His sister Dranja states that, "he was the one who would have carried on the traditions" because of his knowledge of the Old World. Simon's mourning uncle, Dede Kole Miri, describes his nephew by saying, "I love all of my nephews and nieces the same, they are all special but Simon was truly unique." And unique he was.
But where and how, did Simon come to internalize these qualities and make them part of his ethos? Once again, for those who knew and loved him the answers are quite elementary. Simon stemmed from a noble patriotic highlander family from Traboin-Hot of Malsia e Madhe in northern Albania, who left their homeland (unjustly annexed to Montenegro) to come to "the Promised Land." As a young child, he was fascinated by the stories that his grandfather Kole Miri would tell him. Kola, himself, a valiant highlander, was a walking encyclopedia of oral Albanian history. He would take great pleasure in describing the customary code of the northern Albanian highlander. And the concept of besa shqiptare and how "a man who has been dishonored is considered dead according to the Kanun (Paragraph 600)." Kole Miri would also share with Simon the many battles that the northern highlanders of Malsia e Madhe had against the Ottoman Turks and the Serbo-Montenegrians in their struggle for Albanian independence. With much pride, Kole Miri would mention their cousin the vojvoda of Traboin and resistance leader of Hot - the legendary Dede Gjo' Luli. He would explain how the legendary Luli mobilized all of Malsia e Madhe along with Sokol Baci of Gruda, Frano Pali of Kelmendi, Dode Preci of Kastrati and Tom Nika of Shkreli in the Great Uprising of 1911.
Nevertheless, the story that would have an everlasting impact on Simon was his grandfather's personal ordeal with the Communists of both Albania and Yugoslavia. Kole Miri told how he and his older brother, Mark Miri, were savagely tortured under the flaming fire of the red atheist devils. Yet, through the grace of God and their strong commitment to besa shqiptare they endured the barbarism of the Communists and never revealed the whereabouts of their Albanian nationalist cousin, Captain Gjelosh Luli.
The irony behind Simon's favorite story is truly unbelievable. Unlike Kola and Mark Miri, who almost six decades ago were condemned by the blazing fire of the Red Devils and lived to talk about it, Simon and the nearly three thousand victims would fall pray to the inferno caused by the evil cowardly deeds of new devils. So-called warriors of Allah disguised as pious Muslims who murder innocent men, women and children in the name of God, thus perverting the peaceful teachings of Islam. Since goodness, however, belongs to God, while evil belongs to Satan. It is an eternal truth that goodness is far greater and far more powerful than evil.
Thus, just as Simon, we too must have courage and continue to exhibit faith and love in humanity and for humanity knowing that justice will ultimately prevail. Simon's unconditional giving of himself during the terror of September 11 is love in its purest form as expressed in the Gospels. In this sense, the words of Mother Teresa ring loud with Simon's gift to mankind. She says, "Love, to be real, must cost - it must hurt - it must empty us of self." The testimony that Simon left behind is love of life and love of self. He loved and valued life so much that he willingly sacrificed his to help others. This is love, and this is Mother Teresa's "Loving until it hurts." Simon's love was so great that now the Miraj family and friends mourn and hurt, and will continue to hurt. However, know that your pain must find some sort of comfort and be eased by the realization that Simon did not die in vain. His love of life has touched others in ways that we will never truly comprehend. And now, nearly a year after his memorial service, through DNA testing, you finally have closure by knowing that Simon did not vanish without a trace. Rather he will now have a final resting place on earth. Dranja once said about Simon, "he was the legacy my parents wanted to leave behind." Rest assure, my dear Drane, knowing that the legacy your much loved brother left behind to the Miraj family name is eternal love, dignity, honor, pride and respect.
To both families, the Miraj and Ivezaj, I pray that the Lord Dear God will continue to comfort you and strengthen you as He bestows His many blessings upon you all. I would also like to take this opportunity to extend my sincerest sympathy for your tremendous loss and ask that you find peace knowing that Simon is among the angels of God watching over us all. May the memories and deeds of your son, brother, nephew and cousin - Simon Marash Kole Miri forever remain in our hearts, minds and spirits.
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